HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

January - When the mid-term elections resulted in the Democrats gaining control of both houses of Congress, Barry notices something strange about what happened when they took office. "Upon taking power, the Democrats, who campaigned vigorously against the war in Iraq and who hailed their victory as a clear voter mandate to get the troops out of Iraq, immediately get down to the business of being careful not to do anything that might actually result in the removal of troops from Iraq, in case that might turn out to be a bad idea." Oh, gee, what if the Republicans were right to stay there after all? What would the people who voted for us think? Well who cares, we're in office now.

February - Still on the subject of the newly elected Democrats, Barry writes that in the House of Representatives "after a large amount of talking, pass a non-binding resolution sternly ordering President Bush to get out of Iraq, unless of course he chooses not to". This means that they are right either way. By saying "get out" but not if you really don't want to, they can always say "I told you so" and have it both ways.

March - This was a month for celebrities of sorts. Scooter Libby was convicted of problems having to do with Nigeria and mystery mother Anna Nicole Smith could finally be laid to rest amid all kinds of people and media. Although not related, the media people had the most genuine concern for the departed, but for the wrong reasons.

April - This was a month for self-declared celebrities Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson who seized upon Don Imus' racist remark about the Rutgers women's basketball team. Another "celebrity" announced that she will leave a TV show to pursue a career on the Internet. In both cases, no one seemed to care too much.

May - "Democrats in Congress-continuing to implement their policy of being passionately against the war while avoiding doing anything that might get them blamed for stopping the war-vote to continue funding the war, but boldly enter many snippy remarks about it into the congressional record." I told you so, again.

June - When the TV season's programs come to an end, what else is there to talk about? Technology, of course, and this year's winner is the Apple iPhone. Paris Hilton appeared to make brief appearances in jail for whatever.

July - "On the environmental front, the big story is Al Gore's Live Earth, a massive rock concert in which more than 150 music acts perform at 11 locations around the world to fight global warming." I wonder how much energy was used and how much better anyone felt about warming because of it. Personally I think that only Al Gore felt better getting himself in the news again.

August - Clearly this was a month of the dregs. First a Senator ends up in trouble for reportedly soliciting sex with another man in a rest room. Then there were the horrible dog fighting activities of athlete Michael Vick that ended his football career. Barry says that this behavior ended up "costing him a fortune and setting a standard for moronic, immoral and self-destructive professional-athlete behavior that will take O.J. Simpson nearly a month to surpass." Enough said.

September - This section of Barry's column was partially obliterated by having an editorial cartoon pasted over it, but perhaps this is for the best because the month of September began with a talk by John Kerry at the University of Florida. I couldn't think of a better person to obliterate.

October - This month was similarly covered up with the editorial cartoon. That's OK though since by this time lots of people were dressing up as what they wanted to be, and I don't mean for Halloween.

November - Thanks were given for a milder-than-usual hurricane season and a chance to wait in line for stores carrying Apple iPods to open. References to "Back Friday" were not thought to have any racial overtones.

December - By now the fascination with the debates by presidential candidates is already old news. Besides, who can put any faith in questions delivered by a snowman about whether his children will be safe or succumb to global warming? Give me a break! It wouldn't surprise me if that snowman had just been a costume with Al Gore inside.